In my efforts to become more self-disciplined, I have set the intention of writing every single day. Every skill requires practice and the more ya do, the better ya get. Let’s back up and talk a little about self-discipline. It’s relatively new to me. In the past, everything came easily. In school, I never had to study for tests, never had to worry about anything. I could blow off projects until the last minute and still ace the deal. I was that kid. Yup, I was that insufferable little curve-breaking shit who never studied a single moment in his young life. I knew exactly how much homework I could get away with not doing and still get my A.
Now that you’re feeling really nice and sorry for me, I have to say that this lack of effort taught me to be really lazy in the self-discipline department. While you were busy studying and developing time management skills, I was off fucking around. Who wouldn’t though? When you’re young, everything is taken at face value and without responsibility. I’m not going to have the conscious thought that I should be developing my time management skills. At the age of 17, how dorky and lame does that sound?
Fast forward 12 years (ugh) and here I am at 29, sitting in Latvia, looking at my self-direction map, and noticing it is patchy and was never really filled in. That’s okay though! I realized this and have since put the wheels in motion to learn some self-discipline. What is the first thing I have done? I floss every day. I know this sounds crazy simple and something everyone does anyways…but I have to call you on it because I bet you don’t every single day. It may be the smallest of tasks, but I always do it. Even if I went out all night and drank a bunch or even if I am exhausted, I still do it.
Boom, check one for me. Every rebellious fiber in my being resists self discipline and it is a constant struggle, but this is one that has stuck. My next biggest challenge is to write…Every day…Even typing that sentence made me cringe. Why would I want to force responsibility on myself? Didn’t I sell all my shit and shed my responsibilities back in the states? Why bring them back now?
I’ll tell you why. These responsibilities are different. Back in the states, they were obligations and a lot of things I more or less didn’t want to be doing. Mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, working too much to pay too many bills. These repetitive and outright shitty tasks were obligations.
My new self-imposed responsibilities are things that I want. Looking back, there is a small sense of pride that I have flossed every day. Do I still protest some nights? Yes, but the protest is getting smaller and I am becoming stronger for it. Another thing too is these tasks are things that future Tyler will have been glad present Tyler had done (wow that’s a lot of verb tenses).
A year from now, I will be really happy to have written every day. My website will be thankful for it too. We will have so much more content and a growing business, rather than a collection of travel posts from random dates and times with no methodology.